Dejavu

I dreamt of neon lights, I saw them And they burnt my eyes I realised whats important only cautious once I felt the bite Delayed reaction, I didn't clock at the Time I couldn't imagine the demons that People would harbour and feed in The night But I fought mine, most of em, now I Just deal with the ghost of em 14 when they put me on Luvox Same meds as that columbine Shooter I don't get better I lose it, they steady Swap what I'm using Give me no choice, I abuse it Found a quack with a pen that was Lucrative I been the plug and the dancer, daddy Issues; terminal cancer I been the thief and the gambler, I Had a night with your man huh? Awkward, I don't remember He's stuck in 2010 ma Right in the midst of my bender It don't stop when the weekend end Nah It's raining milligrams, my tolerance Is through the roof I can't account for more than half the Things I say and do This shit is putty and it covers up the Deepest wounds Sand it back, a lick of paint and look At that, she's good as new Nah, nothing improves Not dealing with any of what I've Been through I miss the people that's 6 foot under I hadn't decided if I should be one of Them Attacking myself for the pain that I Caused to the ones who loved me I'm a disappointment You better look away if you don't Wanna see me suffering Distracted by company Please don't leave me alone My head bumps drill bars written to myself on loop inside my dome like You don't wanna see me switch Nah, you don't wanna see me rogue I took control of that bitch and Destroyed everything that she loved In a moment Summon resilience, that was a Lifetime ago But all of it feel like its relevant Holding a grudge with my enemy Close Grey skies on a highway drive Rain pour down but its warm Outside 110 gotta clear my mine, 6am with Tear in my eye Gotta calm down, so jaded Say I got a great mind but I hate it, PTSD always shaking Sweat it when I'm nervous L so Anxious Got a shot but I don't know how to Take it Over exposed like I left the house Naked Nobody knows bout the drama I'm Facing Pace back and fourth, no destination Shit, I can do better than this, I can Spit better than them I keep on running away from my Passion And find myself aiding a man getting Closer to theirs Fend for yourselves, you cannot help With my mess And nor would you try if you could But you think you're entitled to only My best Guess what? It don't work like that I get up change circumstance You stay there, I don't come back Yeah you stay there I don't come Back Waving my future in front of me Who got the wales it looks under, See? Don't be mistaking distain for myself as a reason it's okay to f*ck with me I am not done with this life Now you can watch while I thrive I got too much on my mind to put up with some low key cunt in disguise Yeah taste like poison Feel like deja vu, Screaming at people like me Like "come on does this not taste funny to you?" Can anyone hear me? Laura to earth, I don't know if you know But none of the medicine works, and all of the money, The drugs, the sex, fake love makes Everything worse Old habits die hard, naive, think first These cunts come out the woodworks every time I drop a track Like they think I could help them out But they don't want me knowing That I will go in for my message You cannot exploit this intention Somebody need me to send it and I Think of them when you dare me to End it