Dark Days

Been so many dark days, dark nights Took a lotta long days, hard fights Been so many Been so many Been so many dark days, felt like a deer stuck in lights Too many dark days, should I even get up and fight? Too many dark days, I should just give up right? Too many dark days, I'm sick of cryin' at night Dark days, Flashback to 2016 August 8, My family lost a king He wasn't perfect, but to me he meant everything His daughter lost her father, left his girl with no wedding ring "Just have patience" My momma told me stay down and pray I couldn't take it, I tried but I ain't know what to say Spanish teacher told me "Lo Siento, take it day by day" Found a little healing in his daughter, took his whole face When we got the call, I was on vacay at the pool My other cousin stopped me in the hall and told me the news Spoke wit' his mom. Of course she felt the pressure too But how imma pray for somebody, I'm goin' thru depression too Been so many dark days, dark nights Took a lotta long days, hard fights Been so many Been so many Been so many dark days, felt like a deer stuck in lights Too many dark days, should I even get up and fight? Too many dark days, I should just give up right? Too many dark days, I'm sick of cryin' at night Fast forward, a few months later granny moved in She fell a couple times, and her health wasn't improving That cancer started eatin' her body even her mind I just wished she could be happy for the rest of her time But I could feel her spirit slowly fading away By my birthday I was prepared to get that news any day She held on for 2 more months, but then went to me her Father 6 months later, heartbreak would be what brought her her daughter So that's both my grandmas gone before I'm 18 Used to cry all by myself, so I wouldn't cause a scene I mean, my momma lost her grandma and her mother I had to be strong for her. At least The Lord ain't come and take my mother Been so many dark days, dark nights Took a lotta long days, hard fights Been so many Been so many Been so many dark days, felt like a deer stuck in lights Too many dark days, should I even get up in fight? Too many dark days, I should just give up right? Too many dark days, I'm sick of cryin' at night Been too many dark days, but I cannot give up Sumn in my head said God ain't gone leave me stuck One I got up out the bed and said, "Smile until you feel betta Happiness is temporary, Joy a make you heal betta" So I escaped into my notebook Always hate bein' in pain, turn my rhymes to a joke book It was then that I decided, "Take control of my destiny Passion and persistence mixed wit' talent is the recipe" That smile cover my pain but please don't mess Loose screws attaching my brain to the rest of me Eva since my cousin was slain my mind arresting me Still trynna step ova pain, get to a betta me To a betta me