growing lost

First thing I'd like to say is I already have a plan I'll tie myself to my bed until I can no longer escape I know you'll want to free me but there's only one way You'll have to break me down but you've already done that And I can still forgive you, you gotta work a little hard In the end what's the point, I'll just do you bad I'll try the mirror again, you gotta love yourself But it's kinda pointless my friends, I better kill (Myself) Give me paper, give me pen, give a chance to explain I find my lyrics flying through my brain, like an airplane I guess needed someone like you to drive me sane To stay in my lane and to absorb my blame Sometimes I'd like to go back to when I didn't know love To where everything that mattered was the making of my own Well I didn't know, I was barely even born Now I'm 18 years old and I'm already a sort-of My mind's full now, that you're absent Filled with the noise, of your silence I remember when your curses made no sense But now they do and I'm an idiot if you really say so Although you may have done it in self-defense I promise you I have no way to counterweight though I made you lose your ride, you made me lose my heart I'm trying to locate it now, I'm just so torn apart I swear I would exchange it, is that okay? My heart for my soul, cause that's a thing I lacked while growing lost Yeah, that’s the thing I lacked while growing lost Yeah, that’s the thing I lacked while growing lost Yeah, that’s the thing I lacked while growing lost Alright, buckle up cause I'm far from done It's only been two minutes and it's dark outside And that's probably her, she's blocking out the sun Making me feel guilty for a shot that I misguied Cause I said I'd make up for it and she saw that I lied And if I had a head I guess it's already fried I get to make a decision, to live or to die But it's not for me, it's for my soul divide I said before I only want a chance but I already had it Threw it to the side and blamed my mum and dad on it When all I had to do was to get out of the car And make a run for it, but I was a young mind My mind's full now that you're absent Filled with the noise of your silence My mind's full now that you're absent Filled with the noise of your silence I remember when your curses made no sense But now they do and I'm an idiot if you really say so Although you may have done it in self-defense I promise you I have no way to counterweight though (My mind's full now of your silence) I made you lose your ride, you made me lose my heart I'm trying to locate it now, I'm just so torn apart I swear I would exchange it, is that okay? My heart for my soul, cause that's a thing I lacked while growing lost My mind's full now that you're absent Filled with the noise of your silence (Of your silence) My mind's full now that you're absent Filled with the noise of your silence