A.M

I always felt ghost, never seen em, spirits heavy Always felt alone, cause the shadows never left me They always visit, never felt like they came to get me Guidance & Protection, No vibes that's feeling deadly Once upon a time, I met an angel that taught me to see He saw me, told me, showed me My greatest strength was to show the whole me Started this journey of getting to know me, the soul me Discovering the solely reason I hide is cause a sinners song ain't holy Realizing I touch myself at night cause abstinence is harder when you lonely The first time I asked my mom for a hug, I was 25 That same year, had an epiphany and I realized All this time, I been a zombie, I ain't been living, just been alive Going through the motions, awaiting my turn to die Surrounded by death, I existed, Traumatized I blamed myself, buried the tears deep inside They became something else, I internally died The loneliness is so loud, it's so much pain around False hopes and silent cries, I never make a sound This is unbearable, This ain't working, I'm not happy Why I gotta be abstinent, when I'm fucking for me? I mean, I'm coming for free, bust it down prophetically Authentic and blunt, but just a little o.c She had to acknowledge the stereotype she came to be Because I tried to do what's best for me, & still self-fulfilled the prophecy These taught ways of who to be, Where I feel worthless and guilty Ashamed I just came, this can't be healthy My rules, my game; but I think I failed me Let me explore my shallow ways Like my concern for dick size before their names Or his, or him, and that one set of twins I definitely found out that a few was friends Objectified most or all of em, But who's counting I made sure I got mines, but in love, I'm doubtful