I Cannot

Don’t tell me I’m good at rapping, im still not successful The fact I’m talented and broke is honestly so stressful I used to write bars on a paper with a pen or pencil But now this nine to five routine is really in my mental I’m told I got a chance, I’m told I’ve been persistent But now I hear my own rapping and feel so pessimistic I spit a verse or two they shouting “Lalo really did this” But where is Lalo succeeding with all his fans and riches? I start other rappers careers but where is my percentage I fell in love with my music and made it my own fetish Embedded within my soul, yet the people still don’t get it I’m told I have to give my soul bc I’ve been indebted I owe the world my work, my rapping yeah, reset it Starting all over with a verse and then humbly guess it Whether I do it with some or none is really not the question But if I’m doing this for life is what I’m testing AM I REALLY DOING THIS OR NOT? I’M FEELING LIKE I HAVEN’T DONE A LOT BUT EVEN IF I REALLY DONE A LOT I DON’T STOP, WHATEVER I HAVE FIGURED OUT OR THOUGHT I CANNOT WORK FOR ANOTHER FOR A DOLLAR I CANNOT I DO IT FOR MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER I CANNOT I DO IT FOR MY FUTURE SON OR DAUGHTER I CANNOT I CANNOT This motivational rap is really just killing me I lack the motivation but people say that they’re feeling me But thats because that trap music ain’t real for me The deal with me is music is something more that’s been healing me Concealing everything and keeping me away from villainy Feeling the rhythm chillin through my soul is fulfilling me Put me on a beat i never heard its a thrill for me But still I am a sheep within the herd, is that his will for me? Four years I done graduated from high school I’m fooled to think that anybody weaker might do Better because they’re willing but no one got the right proof I choose to be the man in the chair, cuz I do More than the rap, i do the paperwork and such that Anybody wanting to rap is gonna run back To they nine to five cuz they don’t wanna do nun’ that I’ve been quiet but Lalo’s making a comeback Lyrics shining, like the sun gave me a sunbath I still embrace the Son because He is the only One that Really gave me life bc my dads life lunged back To the hands of the Father, who only gave me one dad “But Dad, if you’re hearing me now I know you resting now but if you can see from the clouds Got a business in our home like when you were around I know you looking from the heavens and I’m making you proud” But a lot Has happened ever since you went away Yeah a lot Has happened but I know I can’t retain I cannot Gotta stay motivated here today And tomorrow pick up a dolla for my momma til’ I fade Running a marathon is more than running some laps It’s showing that you could run even if others just can’t It’s making it to the end even if you coming at last It’s pushing until you sweating and no one watching ya back No one listens to rap, just a couple feeling the words I sweat a couple of bars, implemented into the verse Building a business here and done get it into the dirt I’m leading so other people can reap up all of their work In bringing them from the herd, and sweating them for the bag I’m showing ya that I’ve learned, demonstrating here that I can I know that for many years I procrastinated and lagged Executed all that I got but I’m really making a plan I’m never taking a hand I’m only building a team I’m never being with sheep, I’m a shepherd bringing the green Cannot stop, and even if I wanna fall away I cannot, recognize that Lalo be the name