Don't Wanna Feel

I don't pop pills so I be tryna drink my pain away Clouds get hella dark so I assume it's goin be rain today Sun was shining bright until my head start doing 88 Thoughts been racing hard for bout a year so now I'm hear to say I lost my desire and then soon followed my drive I lost hella people who always was by my side Slowly losing myself and I'm constantly asking why No use in getting help I'm just fighting to stay alive and that's true shit No matter what I do my ass get set back that's straight facts Lost time for shit that I would never do and I hate that Drowning all my sorrow in a stupid fucking bottle Only pain I wanna feel when I don't chase that Hardest part is waking up Depression sting just like a bee and I can't make it up My mind grow weary as I think sometimes it keep me up Look in the mirror at myself sometime the tears goin flow regardless Wish that I could just be heartless I don't wanna feel I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I'm tryna keep it real I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I'm tryna keep it real 1 Shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, 4 Black out reset 4 shots more 4 Shots, 3 shots, 2 shots, 1 That's all it would take to pull the trigger and be done I'm fighting contemplation Sometimes I wonder is it best if I remain complacent Don't wanna feel the pain no more so I continue drinking These thoughts be biting at the neck I feel the teeth be sinking The weight I feel is creeping Ain't been the type to ask for help so I just wrote down my though I found a beat and made a track Sharing my journey and loss Crazy to think that all my friends be asking me for advice But how the hell do I help you when I'm still crying at night Questions we all ask Who got my back when I fall down and shit is all bad I cry for help but no one hears so I remain sad In constant battles wit myself I only wrote this song today To take some stress of off my health cause I don't wanna feel I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I'm tryna keep it real I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I'm tryna keep it real I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I don't wanna feel, I'm tryna keep it real