Different

I wish I was different The way I check my phone every five Just to see if I'm the one that they're Missing All my plans were just a vision With a white picket fence And a man that knows how to listen Isn't it strange When your own brain Turns on you Nothings the same Since that day He turned me blue To have all of the things I want A mind that doesn't think so much To know a different kind of love Where I don't doubt that I'm enough A different life doesn't sound bad All of the things I wish I had But who I am I can't take back I can't take it back Oh, I wish I was different Every time that I am alone No one knows All the things that I'm actually feeling And I go out every weekend To make everyone laugh So they don't see the way that I'm Actually bleeding Isn't it strange When your own brain Turns on you Nothings the same Since that day He turned me blue To have all of the things I want A mind that doesn't think so much To know a different kind of love Where I don't doubt that I'm enough A different life doesn't sound bad All of the things I wish I had But who I am I can't take back I can't take it back Isn't it funny, honey With all of the money All of these friends Oh, I'm still lonely All the things I lack And I can't take it back Isn't it crazy, baby With all that I'm making Everyone's talking but I'm still faking I know that I'm off track And I can't take it back I wish I was different The way I check my phone every five Just to see if I'm the one that they're Missing