Suicide Note

Forget happiness that's a side note I wanna die leave a suicide note Why do I feel like this I don't know Tell myself I'll make it I won't though I don't need others I'll go solo Life isn't worth living Don't listen to the advice that there giving Wherever you go you'll never fit in You've thinking about suicide so much That you take the bullets and put them into the gun I feel like I'm no one I can't learn that I'm friend a brother I'm somebody's son It all ends when I move my finger but I'm too afraid to pull the trigger And I can't figrue out my reason to live with my temptation getting bigger But I can't I go out and eat dinner running away from my mind Looking for the positive feelings I can't find Still in shock I was gonna take my own life I'll never find love no one'll become my wife And I can't trust myself holding a knife My existence is pointless No one can hear me it's like I'm voiceless It's like I'm not even here So when I kill my self no one'll interfere A talentless boy can't get a talent full career No one'll look around when I disappear If you have to ask if I'm ok I'm probably not That's when I get on my phone and jot My feelings on the spot I've been through a lot Me and my demons always faught Then I'll keep them in the closet for later Until they break out when my depressions even greater My mind is a traitor I look at myself and I'm my number one hater Everyone's already left And I'm ready for my life to end I'll write a letter for the mail to send But I got nowhere to send it but at least I can pretend Or maybe I'll slit my wrist instead That reminds me I need to get the blood stains out my bed Oh wait I need to see the therapist I hate I told him I'm sorry I'm late I was trying to not put a bullet in my face He said that's ok I'm only here for your paycheck anyway It's obvious you'll never change That's it I'm gonna do it I'm gonna take a knife and put my broken heart through it I got quite the collection I just gotta choose it The relationship between me and my mind is abusive If I had a reason to live well then it's long gone I thought my depression would get better but I thought wrong Forget slitting my wrist I'd rather cut them off I wonder if anybody would realize my corpse on the floor Would it bring sorrow or would it be a score Would you celebrate my life or would that be a chore It's no shock that I hate myself At the same time I don't want anyone else I bet they would love to see me melt And laugh in my face instead of help None of you could understand the way i've felt I'll hang myself by the neck and let my body strech I should really stop giving myself scars A little bit deeper and the light wouldn't be far If you said you wanted me to live I bet you were paid My emotions are useless I'll just let them fade I started having suicidal thoughts in only second grade I guess it was fate Don't try to save me it's already to late I don't wanna feel like this anymore I wish someone would see my blood on the floor I've never felt loved before And I know I never will I'll spend my whole life with this hole I need to fill Depression is a cup I'll never spill My emotions won't let me be happy They say I don't spend enough time rapping And that I'm slacking My work ethic will have everyone laughing at me My mind is toxic But I don't need help I got this I keep talking about this topic Cause I'm hoping someone finds my mental prison and unlocks it They say it's water under the bridge but I'm afraid to fall They say if I have these thoughts there's a professional for me to call But I don't wanna tell anyone I'm suicidal Because once I kill myself I'll go viral Forget happiness that's a side note I wanna die leave a suicide note Why do I feel like this I don't know Tell myself I'll make it I won't though I don't need others I'll go solo