I Can't Do This (Interlude)

It took you until 22, 22, to go back to school Thought you'd be at the supermarket your whole life Clearly therapy has not worked And your anxiety is driving me up the walls It's been too much It's been stressing me out You can't handle it You can't handle any of it You still smoke weed And this whole little music thing that you have going on right now Yeah, alright Good luck with that It's never happening Ever Listen to me You're a great guy, but I just I can't do this F*ck F*ck Ain't shit you can say to me that I haven't said myself five inches from a mirror Through all the shit I ever went through, my mind's my biggest fear I never know what direction it's gonna take me in Today I was fine Tomorrow could be breaking down And all this trauma that I got might not seem like much to you But to me, it's a lot Probably why I smoke weed, all this pot All the Zoloft, therapy, meditation, hip-hop All I wanted was respect Cause in school, I would never get a lot I still think about those kids that always clowned me Picked on me, and pinned me to submission when I was thin Cause I didn't want to eat always fuckin' upset And it wasn't too long ago Punchin' holes through the walls Drinkin' till I fall F*ck my family F*ck my friends I don't care I'll end it all What about my baby nephews Are they gonna grow to remember Matthew By the time your brain settles Look at how much time has passed you Look into a mirror You don't recognize who's staring Back into your soul It's kinda scary And all the changes that you don't see To yourself, you're transparent I don't even remember when my goatee filled in Just happened All these grays that I've been Cutting out my hair's Now I challenge Six years I've been at this talent And they still tell me I stink Relationships I doubt it Ever will happen Find the one for me Who can put up with all of me And I'm still looking for bread to buy a snack From the Dollar Tree Cause all the money I make I funnel back into the vision But this tunnel is getting longer by the second It's almost like I see the end And it's starting to look majestic And I get pulled back by the necklace But it's like you almost expect it Give me a sign that I got it Cause now my pockets are skinny as anorexics I'm scraping up pennies To eat on my lunch break While working OT on a Sunday I already skipped breakfast It's like you though you knew where you're going But turns out you were headless From hospital psych offices No scientist, my hypothesis I'm achieving everything they said I couldn't and left me to rot I joke I am not I'll tag you punks when I'm posted up One day No matter how long it happens I won't give up till I am collapsing Life a Nate Dogg and Eminem soundtrack College drop out At least I wasn't held back Went from picked on and shy to The same energy as a Hellcat Used to rap in high school People told me"Matt You shouldn't sell that" Now I'm popping Like a gel cap Still broke though Oh well that's all gonna change Soon enough my wishing well at Full capacity I been praying like apostles Lot of reasons to not I'll never stop though Put way too much into this game To walk away Even if I'm on ice like Gretzky Wayne I just can't Walk away I don't know What it is I'm just in love With this game I'm taking over this shit yo You probably didn't even see it coming A lot of trial and error But great things take time