Past Tense

Yea this here is a story about a boy on a journey to luv A journey to self Maybe a little bit of both Yea Me an baby girl we was on the cusp I Was only making moves outta the luv Now I'm sitting tryna wipe off all the rust But Its too late now them pipes already bust The damage done Smelled cardiac around the block how deep the cut All that blood rushin to the head how red he was Raging like a super saiyan yea he had enough Felt the strength of 100 men I said he fucked Had to be my own mans no one could help me up It was a solo mission I passed the test we done Thought I worked hard enough call my bluff na I don't feel that stuff We was just playin round Still a child at heart I ain't gon fake it now All this tension you can lessen out ya shoulders now Sweetness I taste it now My head was in the clouds Caught me on the sunny side you lucky my ego proud Still tryna figure out how to stand out from the crowd Who around me really wanna see me get off the ground Who gonna hold me down Who really supportin the dreams I had since I was a child Who secretly was waitin for me to just throw in the towel How the f*ck that sound Shelf my goals n just fold Tell me then How would I ever know The heights that's within reach I might invest in those Then I noticed triggers that niggas was still pressin on wounds like a doormat everybody was steppin on Why I gave 'em keys to my emotions I might never know I ain't realize at the time what the f*ck was goin on Just a way to cope with the trauma I was holdin on Tryna people please everybody would just go along Still Got sum toxic traits, know I gotta let em go Inner child cryin out, too scared to let em know Uncomfortable feelings on display ima let 'em show I won't dim my light like I did many times before Cuz I know in a state of comfort I won't ever grow Had to shed light on my roots generational Momma lessons couldn't shield me from all them karmic holes Universe work in funny ways a lil comical Meditation self realization of how all this goes In circles I get it tho We here to break curses really feel it in my soul Castin spells let these niggas know that we spiritual Back to the physical of dealing with these feelings tho Everyday struggle I'm still workin on the healing tho Higher self tell me to stay focused on my dreams and hopes On the right path despite everything you hearing bro You know how it goes when you dealing with them lows shit But maybe not We all deal with shit differently Different plots Yea I ain't dumb enough to think that I'm like everybody And everybody ain't like me Even if they try to be Remember that we are unique Each and every one of us Might just have to walk alone Might have to get on the bus More love not war please put the swords aside niggas seen my boundaries still crossed the border line It don't matter to me I can no longer afford to lie Only lettin those in my circle that got open minds