Gone

Now that you're gone for good I wish I'd stayed the f*ck away Even in death You've got me under your spell And if only I could I'd finally make you pay For the times you made my life A living hell What's left of me Now that it's finally over You're cold in the ground And maybe now I can thrive I could be free Of this weight on my shoulders But survivor's guilt Will eat me alive You will never know the truth I lost myself by loving you I wished you dead almost every night How long did I live a lie? Everyone else thought you were so great All that I feel is my hate You kept me in a cage Your sick little world Was all that I knew Silenced for years By my guilt and rage How much of me Was made up of you? You told me you loved me And that no one else would My life shrank to nothing And turned poisoned and black You'd yell and I'd cry Invisible and misunderstood Now that I'm stronger It's time for me to fight back Fight back! I wait for the day I can start again Try to find a way to hold on again You'll never get to see What you really did to me