Yard Work

Think I'll go out and do some yard work The sun is high up in the sky Can't go out drinkin' cause I'm dead broke The funny thing is, I don't know why Guess my wife's been off chargin' that credit card (again) She'll be back someday, I just don't know when Think I'll go out and do some yard work It's the party that never ends Think I'll go out and do some yard work Chop those green whiskers down low I got this boss and he's a real jerk I'd love to tell him what he don't know 'Bout how I like to poison those yard rats (Damn go-fers!) I'd like to put HIM where the sun don't show Think I'll go out and do some yard work Just to prove that I'm a regular Joe Well looky here, who's that coming cross the lawn now? It's Junior, fresh from his 18-hour snooze He thinks he's got no one to answer to Thinks he's got nothin to lose But I'm the one holdin' his car keys So I'm the one who gets the last cruise (ha!) I think it's time for HIM to do some yard work I'm hittin' the hammock for a little snooze Damn lawnmower -- out of gas again! Look at all this crabgrass! I got weeds & clover growin' all over! Where the hell is my trimmer twine? Junior, get over here and help me bag these weeds! Ya goddamn useless pervert! Get over here you goddamn idjut! Oy friggin' vey... How 'bout you just get me nice tall glass of iced tea, OK?...