Secondhand

I watch reality TV To prevent me from crying On the days that I'm feeling Something stirring inside me I'd rather be numb I stare at my phone Scrolling past messages read But they're seldom replied to No, they don't charge me extra I just don't feel obliged To type what I'm feeling When my mind is still reeling I'm avoiding the issue But I promise I miss you I'm guilty of pleasures that I find You won't have to read between the lines if I Quit the thinking Pour another drink I'm feeling numb but pressured By my guilty pleasures Holy smokes I wanna buy a pack of cigarettes But I don't smoke And so I'll have to find it secondhand I want it crowded around me Want my throat to be burning And my mouth will be open But you won't hear a word from me 'Cause I'm avoiding the issue But I promise I miss you I'm guilty of pleasures that I find You won't have to read between the lines if I Quit the thinking Pour another drink I'm feeling numb but pressured By my guilty pleasures