My Addiction

I've been addicted to the pain We all here are the same Trying to find that escape Hoping it'll get better someday The infliction it has caused On my family I got flaws Everything I love I have lost All priorities have been tossed So get tossed into my brain I promise you it's not safe Some say I'm a little deranged Needing out of my cage turn the page Mackk Milli trying to feel And be dealing with some things Questioning life and it's numbered days Quit knocking on my door I don't wanna play The voices in my head yeah they like to set stage Must be the reason I'm getting lost in my ways Manic mood swings singing me a new tune Panicking and damaging my peace to Enough is enough yeah I'm calling the bluff Self medicating my hate trying to make it on through Been dying to remember how to feel Signed my soul over in a deal Need a piece of mind to get past these dark times Needing sanity to call me back That's real It's sad to thing as I look all around Each one of us right here Started off trying to make it to the top Became driven by our own fear Spent our whole lives searching For this thing called love Finding it in the worst type of ways Not understanding the damage that we caused Breaking down the walls we made to stay safe It's a habit of mine I'm afraid to let go The only warmth I had when I was left in the cold The problem you see is that I sold my soul Trying to find the peace that I've been searching for I'm addicted to the pain you see I'm addicted to being numb Learned I was better off by myself I don't need anyone My addiction comes from the pain and hate Yeah it brought me down to my knees Everyday trying to fade away Begging for something to save me please The reason I am here right now And I have a story to tell It's better to love yourself enough to stop Putting yourself through that kind of hell