ruining

Another weekend With a reason To party but I never Found it appealing Watching drinking While I'm sinking Tryna find the perfect moment to go It's making small talk In a headlock Cuz my personality is radioactive I'm a recluse Letting it loose For maybe the last time, maybe the last time I'm getting too old To keep pouring out red solo cups I'll stay in control So I'm not solo holding my hair up I need a friend But I don't have shit to give I'm in my head It's counterintuitive I'll make excuses Like I do it's who I am Just ruining I'm walking backwards It's a hazard I'm picking up the pace And nobody sees me Wearing glitter God my ribs hurt From laughing at myself Swearing that it helps I'm getting too old To keep pouring out red solo cups I'll stay in control So I'm not solo holding my hair up I need a friend But I don't have shit to give I'm in my head It's counterintuitive I'll make excuses Like I do it's who I am Just ruining I'm back again Like some kind of idiot I'll disappoint Then act like I'm new at it I'll make excuses Like I do it's who I am Just ruining I'm getting too old I'll stay in control I'm getting too old I'm ready to go Don't wanna rock the boat I'll sink the ship Be your anchor but the bad kind And I lost hope For relationships At least loneliness is all mine If I'm up late cause I can't sleep You're sleeping soundly somewhere If I'm the girl of your dreams You're probably having a nightmare I need a friend But I don't have shit to give I'm in my head It's counterintuitive I'll make excuses Like I do it's who I am Just ruining I'm back again Like some kind of idiot I'll disappoint Then act like I'm new at it I'll make excuses Like I do it's who I am Just ruining If I'm up late cause I can't sleep You're sleeping soundly somewhere If I'm the girl of your dreams You're probably having a nightmare