self portrait

I'm an enneagram number three But I think that's just because I'm trying to people please I don't know how to write without being the bad guy Always hoping for redemption but never for me And my friends say I'm too harsh on me I always overthink everything And my therapist says my personality lends itself to anxiety I know I'll never get out of this loop Of self-deprecation Lay myself open through a line some sick meditation And I wish I could paint like Frida did Because maybe then I could give you a self portrait Worth more than just some words I sing Two years stuck in home alone And I still don't really know Who I am underneath all this I'm too impatient to find out And what if after all the trying and doubt I don't like who she is And my friends say I'm too harsh on me I always overthink everything And my therapist says my personality lends itself to anxiety I know I'll never get out of this loop Of self-deprecation Lay myself open through a line some sick meditation And I wish I could paint like Vincent did Because maybe then I could give you a self portrait Worth more than just some words I sing I feel like everything I do is just for show It's like I don't even know How to be without your eyes on me I know I'm just 23 but I hate to admit That lockdown was the only time I found peace I want to paint me by numbers and figure all this out Give you a self portrait not tainted by the colours of self doubt And my friends say I'm too harsh on me I always overthink everything And my therapist says my personality lends itself to anxiety I know I'll never get out of this loop Of self-deprecation Lay myself open through a line some sick meditation And I wish I could paint like Frida did Because maybe then I could give you a self portrait Worth more than just some words I sing