I'm Sorry

Hi dad Okay, this is going to be hard I have some things I wanted to say, from deep down But first: let me clear off, this ain't gon' be like last time I was stupid, and I'm sorry, but it's in the past right? Second: I don't know if my emotions are clear Cause I fucking hate rapping, but trust me, I'm sincere So I hope that it'll show when I record this song Cause I really want you to know, what I said, was wrong Third: writing this is a fucking struggle I suck at writing normal lyrics, so this is double trouble And on top of that, I can't seem to put my head to rest On this topic, but I'll be damned if I don't try my best Okay, dad, I'm sorry, I know I sided with the others and not the guy who was alone I mean you had the girls, but still, it was no fun Seeing your family make you hated, by your own son And I admit it, I never ask to hear your side That's my biggest regret in life, cause f*ck, all this time That I've spent thinking that you, were the bad guy All I had to do was ask, but no, I didn't try Cause I, was too scared to hear the reply Thinking that if you lost me, you'd probably rather die Fucking selfish idiot, that's me, no pride But that's in the past now, and there's no reason to cry Cause now I realize, that there's only one side It's by the one who shows me love, and so should I I might, not have the answers, but I'm, not gonna hide I've been doing that for years, fucking more than 5 And as I wrote this, you called to say hi You had some information, and it wasn't quite right The doctors told you, that you might have blood cancer I didn't know what to ask, cause you didn't have the answers So f*ck, maybe it will be goodbye soon But if I lose, my dad, it'll be in a high mood I'll write you, and call, if you're lost, I'll find you Cause you're my dad, so it's not something that I choose I've been an awful son, I know now I was scared of you, because of my own doubt You've always protected me, supported, guided and taught me But most importantly, unconditionally, you've loved me And f*ck, I've spent so many years thinking you were wrong But there's no right and wrong, only a stupid son So I'm sorry... sorry I didn't ask And I'm sorry that I didn't show you respect, dad This song feels weak, like I didn't succeed At saying what's been on my mind, for fucking weeks But breathe... I think I got it out Now all there's left to do, is make my dad proud I'm sorry...