Lost

I am lost in my self With clothes from lost A type of surf brand With waves in the ocean Drowned trough emotions Even tho it's just a design Yeah My mind is tripping The dogs been barking My mom is calling Telling me that i gotta eat well And i just ate a fucking slide of P Like if that's enough to be a good child I'm wild on me cause i been having this pressure on my chest I'm boutta ripped my tee to let my thoughts be free You hating me like we got beef But i been in the back of my crib making this beat And this wack ass lyrics that doesn't mean nothing to me I put my situation on god but he told that I can be better than that And dad, told me that i cannot do that So what am i supposed to do with this drama Over the phone while i was talking with my momma, And she said she proud of me but I don't feel it Anyways i feel like i been living life since i turned eighteen My tears won't fall even if i try to cry I wish i could try to die Cause i couldn't cry And i swear that i tried If this the new me then i deserved to be fucked up Cause a fucked up men deserves a fucked up life But Still wish to get famous Still wish to get nameless I mean my name is Ismael not Mael OTB is just a label that i made with no Meaning for nobody else but me, And i know it says off the beat But nobody know what is the meaning of what ever i did And if you wanna know it just repeat this shit Cause once I disappear Your life won't be near My heart full of fears Eyes outta tears Tears out my eyes when i was seventeen But i never imagined how this shit could be so I'm sorry to my self for being me And even tho my shit gets tuff I still wish for good things