If Only

I am scared of Scared of What I'll find Living Living In a toxic mind Kinda deadly To my self esteem Can you hear me? And it makes me kinda lonely If only, If only, If only i'd change I try but then there's only grey around me If only, If only, If only i'd change If only if If only if If only if If only if Go Ahead Why Don't you Punish me Cause silence Brings out Brings out The worst in me If only if If only if If only if If only if It's like a drummer is beating inside my chest I used to think that a healer's a cigarette I only want a single thought Just give me a single thought Just give me a single thought Without regret It's like a drummer is beating inside my chest I used to think that a healer's a cigarette I only want a single thought Just give me a single thought Just give me a single thought Without regret But it makes me kinda lonely When there's only grey around me Yeah it makes me kinda lonely When there's only grey around me Yeah