Calgary, Alberta

If you're looking for a nice place to spend the winter Don't come here Cause it's cold and gray and the ice is always in my way As I run for a bus that barely runs Cause the transit system sucks And I'm late to everything So don't even count on me showing up to this gig If you're running out of smokes downtown and you need more No worries cause there's a store that's always open Down on 8th street and 7th avenue So if you indulge in crack or in meth or anything like that My suggestion is that crack macs is the perfect place for you Oh Calgary, Alberta How I hate you Every moment I spend in this town Is a moment I spend feeling down Oh Calgary, Alberta Who hurt you This place makes me need a holiday I'm sorry to say but I'm going away Welcome to the town Where our high schools are full of burnouts Where the winter kills the not-so-rich And the summer smells just like horse shit Oh Calgary, Alberta How I hate you Every moment I spend in this town Is a moment I spend feeling down Oh Calgary, Alberta Who hurt you? This place makes me need a holiday I'm sorry to say but I'm going away I'm going away I'm going away So if you find yourself in Calgary in the snow My suggestion to you Is to move away To Toronto