Bad Habits

I been tryna' cut back And let go of bad habits How can I help anybody If I'm my own havoc Every time I look up See something bad happens Everyday is another struggle You can't imagine I been tryna' cut back And let go of bad habits How can I help anybody If I'm my own havoc Every time I look up See something bad happens Everyday is another struggle You can't imagine I'm aware of everything that I make Is not bound to be something great But when I'm writing my pain On this paper you gon' relate Could go from talking bout how bad That I wanted the baddest chicks But was hit with some insecurities I really had to fix I'm a walking abomination Could blow up at any time So I'm writing with dedication Like this was the carter five I write cause it's therapeutic To ease the stress in my mind But I'll always carry my burdens Cause it's apart of my pride Got trouble with letting go Of the women I used to know And even the ones I follow Like I would ever could close Through social media Cause Instagram full of hoes I wonder why I find it So comforting in my lows I'm embracing whatever's damaging me I need to quit Before I find myself In a mental hospital or ditch I often thought about how bad That would look if that's it For me to go and pass away Leave it to you to forget I been tryna' cut back And let go of bad habits How can I help anybody If I'm my own havoc Every time I look up See something bad happens Everyday is another struggle You can't imagine I been tryna' cut back And let go of bad habits How can I help anybody If I'm my own havoc Every time I look up See something bad happens Everyday is another struggle You can't imagine I'm a terrible example Of a roll model How am I to be a leader If I still dwell in my sorrows I'm probably in need of guidance Don't wanna have to ever Doubt your power Not even at the slightest, no lying Been juggling nothing lately But bad news Forgive me if I've been distant I'm in a bad mood Got space in my heart to love? Yeah I had room Till growing up torn me apart And now I am recluse I'm well aware Of what could destroy me Yet I embrace it Pacing back & forth In my momma condo I'm contemplating Whether or not if I'll make It To performing on stages Family wouldn't help They'll just show up Every other occasion Don't come to my graduation Cause I won't show up If there's no diploma That's for the taking okay okay I.. I'm all out of love I'm strung out on lust Feel like my family Expecting too much But I gotta stay strong To put on for us Even though their barely checking There ain't no holding up I, not only speak for myself But who could relate We all got some ugly habits That we don't wanna replace My pain is buried deep in my body Look at my face To get rid of all this evil I needa detoxicate My pain is buried deep in my body Look at my face To relieve me from this evil I needa detoxicate