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on the first day of xmas my dealer gave to me a bag of shrooms and some lsd we snuck into the park to steal some xmas trees but the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave we're all fucked up on smirnoff eggnogg we crunch on candy canes and rev up all our chainsaws you give us 30 and we'll tie it up at no extra cost we'll take that 30 and spend it on pot we're not too bright we flunk all of our classes get in fights gettin drunk cuz we're bad kids our dads call us bastards mom's always plastered we're the closest thing to suburban gangstas cold air's what we breathe our vests have no sleeves it's hard to haul trees in subzero degrees we smell like evergreens all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece