TRAUMATIZED

My hands in my hair i dont even feel right These bottles is empty they all on my dresser Im feeling this pressure I just wanna stand i just wanna rise Im sick of these lies Im in a disguise Get the f*ck off me im sick of you guys You tell me this shit but what does it matter I try to tell someone and they feel with laughter I walk away and im on a new chapter Im hearing these voices Im feeling so pointless Like im pushing a button a milion times And next thing i know im commiting some crimes And doing some time For some shit i barely remeber And now im pretty much traumatized Im so traumatized I just wanna die I just held the knife up against my thigh Contemplating life trying not to cry I dont wanna live but i dont wanna die Now i got sent to a hospital Over here thinking a bit logical Trying not to melt like a popsickle I dont wanna think i just wanna do I dont wanna eat i dont want no food I just want my family to be happy But im over here battling insanity And trauma cuz of my sexuality It feels like a motherfuckin tragedy I just wanna eat from this tree of mentality And go up to gravity To learn from my burdens And tear down these curtains And hear from my ignorance And settle my differences Imma keep growing get older get sober My heart might get colder But i am the joker my lifes a rollercoaster And dont comment on mine if yours is mediocere I'm so traumatized I just wanna die I just held the knife up against my thigh Contemplating life trying not to cry I dont wanna live but i dont wanna die