Anything Good From Nazareth?

As I stand before my father, Jason he's hella flawed, and sites he was chasing, weren't, benidorm Couldn't see things the same, I had a bad rapport (report) Early school days, I was open book, didn't read remorse I pray to Lord, praying more Pray for my father, as I pray to my Father, who art in heaven And, arts so hellish, I pondered that, comedians bathe in laughter Flame out on stage, then he just blazes after Got his jury in a row As flaming archers What's the difference, between, me, who's been a laughing stock And my pops, when will his, laughing stop? He suffers, and maybe I suffer, crowd dont care if he rights his wrongs As soon as he left, did he get righted off? His rights so wrong, never anticipated, mummy would tell the story, and I write this song Or that son would become everything, or nothing, that they expected of I'm staring at my mirror, laughing back, he's dark, could you figure? I wonder do they see the cracks, in smiles or my snicker Or do they see me as a man, or pretend they don't see me as a nigga, quicker I thought I was negus, african king Aint painted with that brush, when they see-us I aint above God, but right now would be my zenith Or do I know not, of how to be like my Jesus Father, you don't understand, that I hate myself Love my brother, but he represents all of the pain I've felt Wedlock, should I dive into it?, let's not The typa shit, puts scars on my head like I'm Lescott father, you left, then our Father granted me a father Step Dad, best man, and football was our barter I don't remember that experience, with my dad, in innocence, so in this sense What this new man, did represent, was everything, I forgot So I acted like my had father never left (Knock Knock) Until I heard those knocks again My first father wasn't abusive, but my second father, sadly could not pretend Bang-a-bang, batarang Dark in the night, he'd come back again You ain't seen your mum silent cry Where was my father then? But, couple years and The house was like a hell hole And I think my weight was raining down I think I dropped a hell(hail) stone Calling aunties, save me now Mumzy hiding it, got fam thinking, where the f*ck did hell go? Uno the black mum shi, when they'd rather act strong, but accept help? No Marger man But when mumzy changed the locks, I got weight on my chest I was gonna kill my second dad, and maul him to death I gotta stop describing the meticulous ways, I could cause him distress And my exes wonder why I didn't let them know the thoughts in my head Mumzy started over, with me and my sis, step dad tried a lil spell But our Father protected my miss, no weapon, is harming her kids But I got a weapon, so it's calm if he slips My cousin calm with the cling Eugh I could never be a trap fiend, but I got the cats in the trap, in the web Tricking girls like Anansi High school, I really messed around fancy, had all these tings thinking I would make them my fiancee Then, Heartbroken, Heart choking, next girl had to suffer And online, I'm joking, the rest too deep to uncover I was too deep as a lover, too harsh, I'd march, to embarrass her, and Then move to another, that's not keeping your brother I hear her laughing when my eyes shut, its building like an ISA I need to take a trip, get a firearm, Put it to my head, ima ice-ha Death is calling like a lyca, if my friend is calling, he probably want me dead Coz them boys still alive, rah My bredrin died, Father I'm swimming in a deathstroke Larga, downing all the drinks from the Tescos, And yea 'E tallies all the nutty thoughts I have, in a pesto And all I feel is blue and see red, like Im pedro Father, I'm praying for the sin in me Our Father, who art in heaven, whom, noone's like, f a simile I dream of vanquishing all the man, that gave this agony And, I dont care, coz, for what they did to my family, and friends I feel apathy I'm not the victim, I deserve this Revenge won't take the pain away But taking them from the earth is A part of my rebirth kiss Of death, Father take me from this earth quick Remove me from the garden, As I listened to the serpent My own friends hate me for distancing I'm working hard, working darg, to break this curse, I'm militant But my bredrins, I'm missing em, its a shame, that all they think when thinking of me Is malevolent synonyms "nat you weren't there when I coughed, could've croaked, covid challenged like, cinammon" I wanted to kill myself and they'd rather me just be there to watch As the ends it's killing them (the ends is killing them) What a sad little life, and if I said I hated you for hating me That's a sad little lie, there's sag in my eyes These eyebags carry baggage from the lonely of nights I'm in the London, where the stars, stand underneath, the lowly of lights I'm scared to go out with my friends Last time I was close with someone They die, they're sad, they're depressed And You think it's not my fault that I have these thoughts in my head Like I'm the one who kills them I'm the reason why they're dead And my family are troubled I dont call them either, coz I'm awkward, and muffled But who am I to call, when I'm desperate, and struggle, so now I'm cautious, and troubled There's no light, at the end, my vision in tunnel Love ain't enough to keep the woman you love The woman that I loved said she didn't feel loved It Messed with me, and when my new girl misses me, I'm scared to indulge My fight or flight I'm doing both, at the thought of my misery Cyclical pain, its a cynical game I'm hoping that she loves me, giving it my all Because if I give nothing, I'd rather die than say I was the benefactor, to my trickery I'm fighting for my inner child I'm flying, for the inner me Mumzy, got grey hairs She begging me to stay here I can't walk around the block or Betts park My bets past I can't roll the dice that I may-fair Thinking of Michael, and his head, that was laid bare Think of it in the morning, got home and sat in the middle of the room And I laid there I wanna cry My eyes hungry got an appetite Apple of my eye, in my eye, eat myself away in the reflection My bones thin like malachite, I mean calamite Lord I call on might, sat at night, ballied up waiting for the yutes to walk on by I saw the tents and the blood stains And the whites think our lives waste I guess that makes sense with our blood washed in the sewage, as the blood rains We coming from our Father, return to the earth I WAS PRAYING THAT MY GOD CAME Or I'll force myself up to Him This knife will make me mundane My primary school friend, killed my other friend And he's riding a bird I hate the system, but hate him more He's hated me first If i could, I'd break the bars, and break him in thirds Give a piece of him to suffer hard, to my dead friend's sister, brother, mum From the trauma he's burned Wave's cousin might be a culprit, I've had to forgive or I'll go mad What kinda fucking friend, doesn't ride back? Doesn't kill the yutes when you know man? What kinda fuckingggggg wimp Doesn't crash it in a fucking whip Ask your cuzzy for a fucking stick Do it like a bad b and blow man I'm praying to God Coz satan's on my back and he wants vicarious reinforcement All these christmases go by, and All these winters reinforce this That we're all gonna die, and my life is not important Blacks dying they say it's us, system corrupt Racism don't exist, next day they saying that you terror-us Colly micro-aggression, and I faced with my heart warm Educating, all the racists, Became one of the good ones, the last born They tried to take my spot, mask at school Home, I'll take it off Ex spreading rumours, my knees hurt, and yet I still pray to God If I dont forgive these fools, then I'm giving up Ima just go and kill all the yutes, that are killing us THAT KILLED MY BLOOD KILLED MY FUCKING FRIEND MAN I HATE I KNOW THE YUTE, IF I WAS YOUNGER I WOULDVE DONE 'EM UP RUTUTUT, DID I STUTTER? NAH, THE THINGY DOES, FIST ME UP? I WANNA DIE ANYWAYS, JUST KILL ME CUZ Omnibenevolent, Lord K