Til I Gasp

Not many times in life Do I get emotional like this Were all I wanna do is cry Possibly find a hole and hide For the rest of my life I'm thinking it's time But clearly it's not Cause I haven't died Gods keeping me here I do not know why And now the only question I have is why Why did my friends ditch me Why don't my friends respect me Why doesn't my addiction go away When I seek him secretly I get to a place that is healthy Reading my bible daily N' then he takes me Takes me to hell with my past Beats me to death til I gasp OK I'll watch it OK I'll do it OK I'll cave to the past Just don't come back So I can get back To everything that I have The friends that hate me And don't respect me They don't see through the teen So Why don't you just leave I thought you hated what I was doing OK I'll watch it OK I'll do it OK I'll cave to the past Just don't come back So I can get back To everything that I have The friends that hate me And don't respect me They don't see through the teen So Why don't you just leave I thought you hated what I was doing I have friends That I thought would help Could pull me out of depression With lots of fun It worked for a time Til a realized They like to hang without me Which is fine But it would be nice to get an invite Then I found out They don't invite me Cause I'm only fifteen I don't see Why it even matters Age shouldn't be a factor You've said it yourself We're supposed to be peers Supposed to be leaders together Nd' I guess I got there You must got scared Didn't think I cared Well I did Til it got clear You don't wanna give respect Where I am at ain't great My addiction has almost taken control And in a few days I wont be left anymore I'll be back to watching porn like never before You don't even know how bad it'll be And don't say sorry It wont help any You wouldn't believe how angry it makes me Why did my friends ditch me Why don't my friends respect me Why doesn't my addiction go away When I seek him secretly I get to a place that is healthy Reading my bible daily N' then he takes me Takes me to hell with my past Beats me to death til I gasp OK I'll watch it OK I'll do it OK I'll cave to the past Just don't come back So I can get back To everything that I have The friends that hate me And don't respect me They don't see through the teen So Why don't you just leave I thought you hated what I was doing OK I'll watch it OK I'll do it OK I'll cave to the past Just don't come back So I can get back To everything that I have The friends that hate me And don't respect me They don't see through the teen So Why don't you just leave I thought you hated what I was doing