To mom and dad

Hey mom, hey dad, how you doin' back home? I'm sorry I haven't answered, didn't hear the phone I've been doin' ok, I'm eating and sleeping well F*ck, I don't want to lie to you, my life has been hell I'm ashamed of myself, don't want to answer when you call I'm feeling like I'm weightless, in a neverending fall Honestly, the thought that I'm coming home is the one That has been keeping me sane ever since the day I've been gone Yeah I can barely eat, or sleep, or do anything Ever since I came here I've just been burying Myself, like I've been carrying this weight on my shoulders How can I leave the house when I'm dragging these boulders That I don't know how to lose before I lose my soul I'm barley holding on I'm slowly losing my control But hey, at least things are good for you, it ain't bad everywhere Oh, please don't tell me… No, now I'm gasping for air But where did it go? I can't breathe All I want is to leave I couldn't even say goodbye I'll never see him again I'm sorry for lying when I said I was coming then And then again and then again and again and again Goodbye grandpa, I promise I'll see you then Hey dad, can I talk to you? I know you're mad at me but you don't know what I've been through I'm sorry for not responding, it hurts that you're far away When I'm coming back home I'm hugging you for a day You're my best friend and I miss you, I wish you were here with me We could've talked for many hours of all the shit we could see Can you put mom on the phone? I want to talk to her too I want to say I'm sorry for being an asshole to you I wish I could be like you, I wish that I could be stronger Cause the way that I am now, I can take this no longer I really, really miss you I want to tell you what I feel But I'm afraid that once I say it, it all becomes real It's not all that bad though, I met a girl that keeps me sane We get along really well, I have nothing to complain But she really likes it here, I don't know how that can be But she makes me want to live and that's everything for me Thank you, for not giving up and for calling Thank you, for always being there when I wanted I'm sorry for not giving everything that I've got But next year will be different, I kid you not