Letter To My Former Self

A decade and a half, and I'm better than half a decade Went from student to teacher and then became my own sensei And now I'm throwing glass stones inside of a cave to watch them detonate Sitting here alone with the aftermath trying to meditate Regulate a spectator and keep him in the distance Efficiently finish him like what's left on the dishes Explicitly vicious, my venom, leave him with the fishes Officially witnessed swimmers that quivered final wishes 'Cause the bars that I delivered spitting acid got you tripping Wondering if I'ma come through the window like I was slim But now I'm meaner than that, now I'm eager to scrap And I don't have to ride a curse because I'm gifted in rap But f*ck that, see me coming like the basics are back If you're lost then you better go and ask Dora for a map Bring an orange and then hoard it before the Four door Ford is back Look at that, I'm still gonna make it with the target on my back This is only the beginning, so don't be giving me pity You weren't there when I was down, you only doubted me winning You weren't around when I was out and I was roaming the city You were up inside a house all nice and warm with a titty That isn't sweet anymore, I heard that it's tough from the kitty You only talk behind my back when you don't think I'ma hear it Now I'm counting all the times I heard the thunder, but don't fear it I'm only striking lightning twice in the same place if I'm near it You better recognize we're wrecking eyes with an appearance It's apparent I'm a parent, but it's time that I should air it I got a son who lives less than 30 miles away With a mom that let us meet, but only if I don't relay All the facts about my life, how he has sisters by my name Unnecessary drama was the phrase she chose to take Said my daughters weren't his sisters, bitch that's DNA Like the test you never even wanted me to fucking take Now I'm looking at the picture like a clone of my own face And I promise by the time that I'm laying inside my grave My son'll get to know how much I loved him, why he's great Why I've never gone a day without praying that he was safe