Letter 2 My Heart

Feel like my heart's trying to tell me he can't take it anymore Broken bottles of Henny, I woke up on the floor I despise lies and the lies hurt of course But I think I've realized sometimes the truth hurts more Number one you was my first crush We was young and I was dumb my heart was in a rush I was doing anything to make you laugh or blush But if your nigga knew, he would try and get me touched Your nigga was my homie, we would kick it after school But my main focus was always kicking it with you Y'all was on and off so I couldn't wait to make my move Can't go against bro code, but I knew you first, it's cool I ain't never told him how you would flirt and send me nudes So when he found out, I guess he couldn't blame you Lost a friend over your ass, bitch, the blame is on you Matter of fact, ho, matter of fact, we fucking through But your ass just kept on coming back, and I ain't complain I ain't gonna sit here and lie and say I ain't want you the same Call me toxic all you wanna, but you would've did the same The way her body looked, it's still encrypted in my brain When we turned 18, you said we should move out to Cali The plan sounded valid, convinced my parents I'm ready You picked a one bedroom for us out in Inglewood Just to find out you went alone, bitch, it's a single wood Feel like my heart's trying to tell me he can't take it anymore Broken bottles of Henny, I woke up on the floor I despise lies and the lies hurt, of course But I think I've realized sometimes the truth hurts more Number two, I think you broke me to worst Your ass love to fucking argue, it ain't phase me at first Cause toxic love was fun, the way we fucked made it worth Sex with you was the best, we satisfied each other's thirst Till that damn condom had burst We was stacking bread together we was gon' make this shit work Nineteen with a baby, it sounded crazy at first When I finally accepted it, I wasn't prepared for the worst So that miscarriage hurt She had a problem with a nic addiction Abused alcohol too, cause she had no pot to piss in I thought she stopped when she was pregnant, but she just hid it from me She ain't like the fact that she killed that baby in her tummy So she blamed it on me, took out all her problems and her anger on me I just stood strong, I was in pain, can't you see So when I left her ass, I guess the blame was on me I guess the shame was on me, damn Feel like my heart's tryin' tell me he can't take it anymore Broken bottles of Henny, I woke up on the floor I despise lies and the lies hurt, of course But I think I've realized sometimes the truth hurts more Number three, you treated me like your number one Can't apologize enough for the stuff that I done Think I realized I used you for your body and mind But I promise you those wasn't my intentions at the time I was in South Africa for four months, you would visit me there I was infatuated by you, by your body and stare You was the first person to show me that you love me and care But I'm a product of my past and ain't no love exist there I wasn't used to that, I ain't know how to express it I was always toxic, feel like you taught me a lesson I mean you was older, five years to be exact I think something about your maturity somehow kept me intact Zulu girl, so our cultures and traditions collide Knew that if I wanted you, I had to make you my bride We was three months in, my pops tried arranging our marriage I was so under pressure when we sat down with your parents I ain't know how to tell 'em, or tell you I wasn't ready I was living in the moment, I was trying to go steady I ain't wanna hurt you or embarrass you front your family So I just kept my feelings in cause I was raised to be manly I broke your abstinence, something so holy and pure Thought I was expressing my love by letting my dick reassure I was a hurt soul, and you looked like the cure Before I did all that I had to be clear you were sure I loved the way you looked at me when I stuck it in deep You loved it from the back to feel me grip on your cheeks I loved the way you moaned, the way you struggled to speak You loved to give me dome and watch me tug on the sheets I told you that I loved you and I thought I did mean it But when I flew home that put some distance between it Honeymoon stage was over and I felt all alone So I started thinking, soul searching, I was all on my own I explained the situation to my mama and cried Told her that the distance made me feel a divide So I called you on the phone and I told you my side Broke up with you on the day that's called Valentine's, damn