the devil is not my friend

I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost Little bit of panic inside of my manic head Managing barely a thread feel like a mannequin cuz i feel nothing again Got a pen and a pad as an advocate It's my Zen but I'm as mad as a ravenous animal who just ate but needs a feast again I feel the fear wrap its hands on my neck A tight grip reminds me I'm next I feel like I'm suffering from my traumas effects I know that this can not be the end Fight or flight I feel my body protect Myself from things I obsessed that made me upset But here I am pacing counting my steps While i fidget with my fingers Back and forth with intent The snakes start to sing The snakes start to sing The snakes start to sing I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost But I feel I'm so close to drowning And I know the pressure is mounting Cause I feel the stress all around me The weight of the world is surrounding Been searching for something to ground me But there ain't nothing that I'm finding I guess ill just dig a little deeper in my soul so I can find something I really wanna say that I'm okay But you'll look at me like I'm insane Either way at this rate can't complain People think cliché I think dismay Balance bad habits feel like Alice chasing rabbits Wear self malice like a jacket heart so cold mistake it for blackness Really it's results of a famine in my soul from backstabs and panic I want a blank canvas Away from this madness while I still can Hear the snakes start to sing The snakes start to sing The snakes start to sing I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost I see the devils in disguise, who wanna watch me fall The ones who put me below them so they can watch me crawl Why does part of me feel like what their saying is not wrong I just wish I could make myself believe that I'm not lost