Pedagog

Are those who dance necessarily not dead? Why wait? Could you survive in hell for one second? Are you certain you truly pictured hell? I hear the grass first and then feel wind Shaking my head I fidget with movement Atop this cliff face, cautiously through droplets Hairs on my neck assure someone is here I'm steady and cautious, I know what to fear Shoes crinkle grass, another step, another step Stand at the edge, waves against rock A storm has started, nauseating vertigo A person down there! Not bothered by rain Mouth of a cave her authoritative back drop Heart fills from ears, my soul can hear music She sings "See Clear Paint waves Safely Home" My attention has turned, the stars begin to appear again Gifted with giving being a gift I met an adrenaline junkie named Molly It's the anxiety of disbelief I knew that I knew, I followed through the doubt for you, green, red, blue I'm moved, physically I'm literally moving to the edge of the cliff Calm and shaky, aware with clear intent Lowering myself down to the rocks At her eye level, stunned, there's no staggering She continues to sing I know her name, I always did Pedagog Reaching toward her Our hands touch, we kiss I look at my hands, covered in paint Putrefied and evil, her eyes are sockets where spider silk festers A wave washes half her body away Stretched shredded rotting flesh stench We're both gutted, our legs taken from us I rip at my skin I taste hair and vomit Buckles and pleas brings me to my knees Pedagog- don't fucking insult me It's been a decade the hurricane won't go away How many decades precede decay? Benzodiazepine, insulin, penicillin, opioid, an """"antidepressant"""" The therapies: laughing head space amenities Don't speak to me you flail it fails my teeth sharpen then shrink I've ruined my life, I'm haunted by hatred, my hunter waits till I'm home Ashamed, self blame, volcanic, and lame My heart still pumps but there's acid in my veins Maybe today I'll be wimpish, exhausted Pedagog. Pedagog. Pedagog. Pedagog...