And I Die

Mom, I'm sorry I'm not What you wanted from me Who you want me to be And dad I promise I'll stay Far from what you showed to me How a real man should be Pushed against the pillars I built And blamed everyone else for Bore through myself in the mirror On the asphalt, king consort Watch me spin across the room Shedding the colors meant for you Tears streaming down my face Out of happiness for follow-through No, I don't know what I wanted But I know it can't be this Things crawling out of my mouth And every orifice If I lose what left I have Who am I meant to be? I'd give my life up for anyone Just to know they'd think of me (And every day I die) Thinking 'bout the way you were And the way you weren't here (And everything in the sky) Burns a hole in my insides Everything you liked, oh And how can I really think it's normal While my heart beats in three/four Told by everything to stay common Indirectly, but still for sure Just want a home to go back to To stay safe and to keep me warm I wasn't built for all of this Made to live how I don't want No, I don't know what I wanted But I know it can't be this Things crawling out of my mouth And every orifice If I lose what left I have Who am I meant to be? I'd give my life up for anyone Just to know they'd think of me Running through a meadow Doves and butterflies around me And the only way I can enjoy it Is imagining you're me (And every day I die) Thinking 'bout the way you were And the way you weren't here (And everything in the sky) Burns a hole in my insides Everything you liked, oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh I change myself And I die