Someone Else Entirely

I'm sorry that I struggle to tell the truth I just wish that you could see it But I could fall apart If I find out what is breaking me I don't even want to think About what could happen to you One day I'll swallow my pride Look in the mirror and be fine I'll see myself looking back For the first time One day I'll swallow my pride Look in the mirror and be fine I'll see myself looking back For the first time Nobody I meet will ever need me Know I shouldn't eat, but filled with gluttony Exaggerating my past, fill in the gaps With holey stories Tell my friends I'm lazy while I still do nothing If I'm self aware they might leave me alone Go to school, go home, hate myself and then do it tomorrow If I try not to eat, close every door within 10 feet and Block all my friends, run every command, tell them I'll- they'll They'll have no choice but to give me attention Coz that's all I want, I don't want help I want people to listen to me, pay more attention to me (please don't leave me, I promise I'm trying my best) I'll look how I want, not want to disappear when I see my reflection and I'll act how I want, I'll be loved by everyone and I'll (please don't leave me, I promise I'm trying my best) I'll make my parents proud and stop feeling like such a huge burden and I'll stop lying to myself and I'll accept that it's not good to feel like this (please don't leave me, I promise I'm trying my best) I won't throw my life away and I'll live up to my old expectations and I'll want to see my family when I grow up and (please don't leave me, I promise I'm trying my best) I'll stop being inhuman and finally find salvation and I'll I'll be someone else, so that I can finally be myself again (please don't leave me, I promise I'm trying my best)