Thankyou I Guess?

So many friends none of them wanna deal with my bullshit I don't even know why I deal with this shit I don't even know why I just haven't quit I do know one thing Imma take another sip And tell you my story on why I'm so fucked up Everyone around me just seems so stuck up Cause when it gets quiet these thoughts get loud My heart starts racing when I'm standing in a crowd It all started with this one girl My first love and she made my stomach start to swirl I knew it wouldn't go well but wanted it to last longer Fucked me up but it built my heart up stronger Took me a couple months for me to realise behind my back she was dming all these other guys That ended real quick hearts didn't break even I never thought love would be something I believe in Cause you moved away I stayed the same Know that you promised you wouldn't change It's probably just me, insecurity Well lately I can't help myself Now we fast foward to the present Found another one became my antidepressant Real quick found out shits getting real From her I think maybe I need time to heal And I know your mother didn't like me from the start Waiting for us to f*ck around and break each others heart She fell in love with my music but she won't like this one I'm sorry but all this pain can't be undone Cause you broke me first after all the promises Imma write my feelings I don't care what mumma says I don't care if it hurts you Never cared if it brakes you Cause in a way you kinda fucking deserve it You lowered my heart into a 6ft deep pit It ain't my fault you have trouble to commit And I hope you cry when listen to this Cause you moved away I stayed the same Know that you promised you wouldn't change It's probably just me, insecurity Well lately I can't help but think