We Are Nøt Okay

my heart beats, my lungs breathe and yet I’m drowning underneath the sea my eyes glance, my mouth speaks and yet I‘m drowning right inside of me //but noone sees the void inside of me Don’t you know that I am hurt? Can‘t you see me fade away? The monsters got a hold of me and I’m afraid they’re here to stay and I am not I am not okay When I look into the mirror I see an unfamiliar face those tattoos are clearly mine but I can’t feel myself I make a cut and I can breathe again until the shame creeps in I’m too weak I’m too dumb I’m too shy god knows why Why am I so complicated? I scratch my arms until they bleed need to get this tension out of me All I wanna do is sleep tonight but my thoughts run deep I’m too fat I’m too dumb I’m too shy god knows why Why is life so complicated? I text you „sorry I can‘t come tonight“ and another tie gets severed when all I want to say is give me a call maybe come over let’s talk or even sit in silence I don’t wanna be alone tonight I just can’t be on my own tonight I am not okay all I wanna say is No, I‘m not okay! Listen to me I don’t live – I don’t die I don’t live – I survive I am not okay GO AWAY I am not okay I FADE AWAY