Losin' Focus

I keep losin' my focus Tryna get my mind back right I can't let this time pass by Livin' a life that's complacent I keep losin' my focus Chasin' these digits from women I hit then forget 'em the cycle is endless my dreams have been hindered cuz I keep losin' my focus I keep losin' my focus My focus I keep losin' my focus Time's on that Houdini shit like POOF Gone in an instant Thought that my ceiling was the roof but Then I found proof If I reached even higher that a ceiling wasn't there such a misconception Liquor's infestin' my mental health it's Detrimental type shit That stress is winnin' type shit I need to change my mindset I can go back through and find texts That show me in a brighter place I'm losin' focus and I know that if I hide away that life is hopeless I've been havin' trouble copin' with the struggle of growin' older I know that it's all in my head Feelin' like the lense is blurry, image hurried Not enough time in the dark room Underdeveloped, enveloped in this weird helplessness It might take me over, really it just all depends If I crawl or stand no infant shit My palms and hands both in a grip Prayin' for some peace of mind At least peanut or pecan-sized, is that nuts? I don't even know anymore, man it sucks Barely keepin' hope anymore, just enough To see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel Maybe I'll keep runnin' until my life's on the come up From sun up to sun down these thoughts never stop comin' I keep losin' my focus Tryna get my mind back right I can't let this time pass by Livin' a life that's complacent I keep losin' my focus Chasin' these digits from women I hit then forget 'em the cycle is endless my dreams have been hindered cuz I keep losin' my focus I keep losin' my focus My focus I keep losin' my focus I have been losin' my focus Would not expect you to know that Even my closest of homies don't notice Mostly what they see is what I have chosen to show them For the most part I stay closed off, no más Tired of hidin' that shit Tired of lyin' my lips only open when speaking the truth Finally trying to give you my view Let's rewind to a time way back in the past when my pupils seen drugs abuse No future if I followed I'd be stuck with dudes Who now a days only stuck with their palms out Askin' for dollars how'd they fall south No compass just wandering aimless Haunted by memories Taunted by niggas who flaunt what they cannot be Part of me started to fall cuz the energy That I had as a youth diminished The notebook and the booth replinished The distractions that crossed my path The interactions I shouldn't have had The intersections how come I ain't crash I guess it's luck, I guess I trust my instincts Lessons tucked into my brain now I think Long and hard before actions Used to think carnivore That's a chicken with beef tryna go ham Now I don't even eat meat, man Now I only have one reason for writing these lines Therapy carrying me through these times Varying moods Barely in tune with the dude that I used to be Aligned with my conscious I choose to be The clearest, purest version I can be Fearless when the urge to drop comes I can't sink Emerged from a certain murky depth the first to reach the steps at the pinnacle Had to rip the tentacles off me Tied to a cinder block, they dropped me Into a river they figured I'd drown Left were the ripples from where I went down They were for sure did not think I would live But I found the courage to be who I am, yea