Christmasogyny

Going to the office Christmas party because it's mandatory If I get drunk as f*ck first at least it won't be boring There's some fine bitches there and I'm kinda horny Wearing my rudest Christmas sweater in all it's glory Drop by my dealer first so I can score weed The office is decorated all hollied and snowflaked I'm poppin molly and tryna see hoes naked Mistletoe on my belt loop, I'm a bit tipsy Avoiding my boss like its social distancing She finally caught me, mentioned she's pissed She told me to stop being so misogynistic I dismissed it, told her kiss this dick It's Christmas, le tits now bitch Fuckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me She's the office goth girl with big titties Puking in the trash can on my knees Take another shot in between each dry heave Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave The HR lady is using business buzz words I didn't listen because I already fucked her I think I heard her mention synergy Don't care, I wanna jizz in her V Lick all the donuts on the pastry table Showing no manners like I was raised in a stable Going to my boss's desk to lay some cable Dildo on the tree top not an angel Fortune 500 company? Could've fooled me Vomit on my sweater, mom's ravioli Then I ate more cannoli's than Mark Kaboly Head to the bathroom stall to roll weed Gave a ho my substance like she's Margaret Qualley Fuckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me She's the office goth girl with big titties Puking in the trash can on my knees Take another shot in between each dry heave Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave I get away with shit cuz I'm too valuable to fire Doing Coke in the bathroom like my name is Coolmire Now I'm gonna flirt with the diversity hire She offered to f*ck me so I won't deny her It's really hard to lift her skirt any higher I didn't use the same rhyme, you fuckin liar She showed me her crystal like Bryan Cranston In the janitor's closet we started dancin The way I touched her down I should be in Canton Felt her down south and I put my man in Pistol in my belt like I'm Biff Tannen I came in her mouth She spit it back out She said she's gonna ralph Now I got gonorrhea, no doubt Fuckin a slutty elf under the Christmas tree Leave my DNA in her like it's 23 and me She's the office goth girl with big titties Puking in the trash can on my knees Take another shot in between each dry heave Locked in handcuffs the only way I leave I showed the secretary my balls and cock I'm getting so drunk they fuckin called the cops Still takin shots like I'm Tupac I see a foreign girl I bet she has a fun name Spilled eggnog on her chest, looks like a cum stain This party was starting to get kind of lame It doesn't even have it's own Jeffpardy game The cops just arrived, am I being detained Sober was never an option F*CK BOSTON