Don't Upset the Little Kiddie-Winks

Spare the rod and spoil the child That's what grandpa used to say And he'd tan our hides off If we even looked his way Other means are now employed Thanks to schopenhauer and freud Even though you hit them You must not frustrate them Don't upset the little kiddie winks The little kiddie winks of today You must never ever beat them The right way to treat them Is let them go their own sweet way And don't upset the little layabouts Just let them play about scott free Just put on their - and hand them their - And keep them well away from me You must let each little monster Do exactly as he wants to Though you know he's going to take you for a chump You may treat each little treasure To some psychiatric measure But you mustn't ever kick him up the rump And never strike the little - Or although to coin a phrase they stinks Don't scare the little baskets It's not much to ask its The way that every modern teacher thinks Don't upset the little kiddie winks Don't upset the little kiddie winks The pretty kiddie winks, the little dears Though it seems the devil's got em One smack on the bottom Might - their whole career Don't forget each bedtime story must me adequately gory For they claim we're all descended from the ape If you really want to please them no more - Give them arson, give them murder, give them rape So if you find the curly pets Are buying cigarettes and drinks Don't push them down the plughole No - on the - You must remain impassive as the sphinx And don't upset the little kiddie winks