Irrelevant

I'm writing this song, so I got to say I'm nothing but an embarrassment, I'm nothing but an irrelevant child Cough!! PaidLife Mom!! All the times that I left, I was tryna be great see! All the things that I did, I'm not tryna debate it! (Debate it) And yeah, i felt your love, so you see now my heart bleeds! (And now my heart bleeds) Hey!! Wish I did better, back then i was 18 I'm down and steady and now my heart's racing, I'm a lost cause, I'm not that God fearing People come around and see me it's scary Trying to be alive but they know I'm dead in Yeah, they know I'm dead in, and they know I'm frozen I stay indoors, my windows are closed in Tryna get through Shame and live a day But it feels to me like my paths are chosen To survive is living to die, all the pain that I feel I cry out to El shaddai Hating now is their aim, they be thinking I would die Just like Christ carried the cross, they be tryna crucify me But El shaddai is the one that stands with me, when this people they be gathering and judging about me When they point out their fingers and starring hoping i don't see So I placed all my hopes in God, I started reminiscing Yeah! I started reminiscing, people came and they think I was addicted Hey! They thought I was addicted, so I rhyme my rhyme without dimensions People die around within the nations So I rhyme my rhyme And they cry their cry Psycho rap this rap People come around and say PaidLife you're the rap Lord! Things I've been going through is just a lot I wanna be the one who takes my pain way Sometimes I lay down on my bed, keep thinking why I was brought into this world I've been reminiscing passed things that I've done They be too much for my family to take I just feel Locked up right now I just feel Locked up right now I don't take pills I don't smoke weed I take alcohol to numb the pain But I know the lord see everything that I've been going through And he knows my pain While growing in the hood I was locked up, while hoping for fame I was boxed up People thought I was quite I was weird, but in truth I was locked up and scared But I knew I had that mindset that one day I'll make it out and I'll be heard Never had it clean I was in conflicts, kids(peps) thought it was fun like Netflix But you know that feeling anxiety, never had it all that's humanity Going through hurtful depression, till I met the one with predictions She wrote down my flaws, took down my flaws Absurd my pains with unique and will, In another world I wanna meet her up I wanna be the one taking her for tour Good feelings never die that's what she said, she wrote down in paper with my amends She took all my feelings, took me away to a place where I put it to waste Drop down insecurities that's what she said, I felt anxious but was rest assured So my feelings never died and my feelings always wild Always making memories, that's why we always fly All the times that I hurt you, I know you cried, all the times that I left you tried Please bag up your feelings and bag all your memories, if really they cared it wouldn't be Demo Let me take you away, far from the memories be a good lover like the girl in the lyrics She promised a good love, good love and good care So pick up your bags let me take you away fr! Mad!! Ha ha ha ha !