Estella's Ghost

I raised my glass, but not to toast Because inside my throat is where I caught her ghost It makes me such A thirsty host Estella's Ghost I know exactly when it was I changed Exactly when my thoughts got rearranged It was fifteen years ago this Saturday I noticed that my moods got in the way Of something vague That had some other game Estella's Ghost She kept her distance while she was alive Until the night when sinister she sighed "A friend's apartment, can I get a ride?" Oh my insides I thought it was my time Estella Fifteen years ago last Saturday I drove but didn't think that I would stay But she got her way And I stayed just in case Estella She was suddenly all touching and loose hugs When the party turned ugly, she just shrugged When everyone turned to run She gave my hand a tug I was well and truly stunned Cause as I turned to run Her tongue found my tongue I heard the gun They opened fire And we were one... Estella's Ghost Soon enough I learned to let it lead More often than not it spoke for me I never drink But now I'm six by three Estella's Ghost Her liquor slicks down the back of my throat So sometimes I don't even know What words she'll decide should flow Well, now my friends Well, they don't call no more Estella's Ghost Now I sting my head with major tones Because right between ears is where I caught her ghost On nights like this, what I wonder most Is why it was me that she chose? Well, was it something to show me How easily she could own me? There was something I can't describe Some evil sparkle in her eyes But what I can't decide Is why did she want to die And haunt my mind? Tonight's our anniversary Which no one knows She has me pour another gin and coke The walls are close So raise a toast to drown Estella's Ghost And not to boast But my therapist says I might be getting close