anaesthesia

I'll catch the sparks that fly off of you as you crash off this bridge Leaving desperately Incessantly We tried To erase away the day An all-too-healthy way of escapism Gaslight myself into believing everything is fine I think it's the only way I could handle seeing your heart resign There's someone I want to see But it's hard to make out all of your ashes in the breeze Lights out Don't know how to be without To think about how you were on the way out Felt like a gunshot to the chest Not enough to try my best Collapsed to the floor She dragged me out the door Tried to nurse me back to health with some makeshift sutures But the stitches left with her Just for me to learn to live with this wound dehiscence Cope with its insistence She proved her lack of permanence Just like she said she would I couldn't blame her Like it was already said and done, riding off into the sunset Throw caution to the wind Find some shelter within Warm up by the fire Know we're both such bad liars Say these wounds aren't so dire Yet we believed it anyway Anyway The buried memory of an early spring day In awe of how much I took it all for granted In the brief moment that it lasted I wouldn't dare speak of you in past tense But it's been a while now It's probably time to move on But I'm always late Antiquated Ol' fashioned Bleeding out in your arms Playing out a scene From an old movie Watch me inhale deep Making excuses Anything to lose this feeling that it was useless And that image in my head Just take my memory away if that's all I need it for Maybe it's not such a bad way to go Or maybe it is Is there even any such thing? Do I even wanna know?