Undeserving

I am barely holding on There is no love That can save me anymore I'm wasting too much time But I swear it's never what I wanted And I've never been so desperate To forget all my guilt that I would Bruise myself to sleep But I swear I'm trying To be enough I ignite myself To see your eyes light up Voices sound so incoherent When they reach my ears And praying to a God To feel relent I just want to feel whole again My hands they shake Violently As I try to speak My hands they shake Violently When I overthink I am a dead weight I am undeserving Set adrift I am doomed to sink I am undeserving Set adrift Doomed to sink This ill-fated path I've chosen Has chiseled me to the bone Set adrift I am doomed to sink Once again Crawling back into the hole I have dug Once again My nails are deep into the dirt Once again I am reminded that I am undeserving I am undeserving