Idk How To Be Sober

You are now listening (I like this intro) To the Blue Eyed Demon Track one I don't know how to be sober Holding a sign that says I need help is the hardest thing I ever did And craziest thing is everyone's dead that was with me for my first hit Only time I ever feel hope is when I'm in rehab, lying I'll quit I call the shelter my home, but that's only if I'm not locked in the bin I'm smoking cigs that I found on the floor And I'm using needles that have been used before Why is it so hard for me to say no? For a handful of pills, shit I traded my phone I don't know what Jesus would do (I don't) But I'd go through hell for some dope This my last year being broke I'm done wearing clothes with burn holes I'm done fucking hoes for a home Now I won't f*ck unless I know her name Ill sing a song for some change I'm so down bad ill do shit for a penny Even my parents wish they never met me OD and wake up, I can't move my hand Over 2 months before it moved again In love with my ex, but I can't be her friend Cause' I'll just get mad and say shit I'll regret Look On paper I'm mentally ill But after I smoke I'll be perfectly chill You know that shit good when it give you the chills F*ck being sober I hate how it feels She got some dick then got all in her feels Pussy it hit like a pill I like myself better when I'm on the pills I know in my heart I could kill But I don't know how to be sober And I've been high on every street in Arizona Wake up from a coma Everyone's Bitchin' They don't understand my addictions a sickness I'm not sad, I'm depressed, there's a difference If I said I'm bipolar, would you look at me different? Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda but you didn't I pray that I'm dead before I rot in a prison Just shut up and listen If I'm going to hell then just pray for me And promise not to lie at my wake Don't bring me flowers, I mean yeah sure I want them, but now at this point, I'm afraid it's too late I'd rather have crumbs with the bums because I get played every time I try sharing a steak with a snake My dad thinks he's better than me but he drinks to escape so I think we exactly the same Holding a sign that says I need help is the hardest thing I ever did And craziest thing is everyone's dead that was with me for my first hit Only time I ever feel hope is when I'm in rehab lying I'll quit I call the shelter my home but that's only if I'm not locked in the bin