cold, i wish

Dead, i wish i was dead and cold I went from carefree, to body raining every night My effort is maxed, i never received it back I don't deserve this, but it happens to the best i wish i was "Help me", thats a sentence i speak silently often I don't care about no coffin, rather burn instead I wont go to PIP for the fourth time cause i'll finish the job this time Most ones who'll be hurt from this Probably played a part too I keep my special sharp beside me when i need it everyday To create more tattoos due to a relapse cycle Restricts me from wearing shorts and t-shirts But i do it anyway to make the greatest pain transferred to the public Im good at changing subjects Call me selfish all you want, wont be here anyway For the close ones i helped, you can find a better one to save the day I wish i was dead and cold And i was so close To beating this mind massacre The temptation has really took over With one ex and hostage daddy issues They always say "hang in there" but i cant any longer They will give their all to me when i'm dead and cold "Kill myself i'll go to hell"? But i already live in it There would be no difference At least i leave all the triggers thats here on earth My mental illness just really shows that my life is cursed Flowers are not given when im alive So i gotta fix that to get the sympathy i always fantasized about Thats how far the loneliness goes, to hugging my clothes, denying my lows They say "the pain is temporary", but i cant wait that long Death is calling me like biggie Destroy the parts i picked up cause i got no one with me in my mind You reached the end to my end my last words are not fine Dead, i wish i was dead and cold i wish i was dead i wish i was dead and cold