p u r g a t o r y

I'm so tired of writing these sad songs But my life ain't never right, nah it keeps on going wrong And now I'm not sure if I can learn how to move along Something tells me imma die young I'm trying so hard to find my way But it's too late for my soul to be saved And it's so difficult to keep track of the days When the f*ck did I die young I ain't got no place to go, nowhere to be The chance that I'mma die alone is haunting me But life keeps breaking all of my bones and my dreams No wonder why my body feels cold when I sleep I hope that when I'm gone my story's told on the streets My voice playing through an iPhone on repeat My face in different homes and in every magazine Ill do it my own, cause I ain't never need a team I know that I'm a king, like Lebron I know she like the way I sing in every song I know you hearing this and think something is wrong So try not to blink, cause gon' miss me when I'm gone Look I'm just spitting thoughts from my head It ain't my fault that I'd rather be dead F*ck being found, imma stay lost instead Bring time to a hault and never get out of this bed To be honest Im not sure what I been thinking for days My heart been feeling warm but my soul still sinking away I'm dancing with with devil, her heals put her on a whole different level I see her sister death in the back of the bar looking special And she winking at me I guess that's my sign to get up and maybe buy her a drink "Aye mr bartender, can I get two martinis" Im getting mad fucked up before I go back into purgatory I know I'm going straight hell, I bought my ticket last year Where's the tome of the bell, I thought by now it be here I got my whole soul to sell, but see no pawn shops near How am I supposed to tell that I been living in fear I guess by all of my nightmares but I thought they were expected And every suicidal has thought is never been this neglected They always accepted, my brain has always been this infected But when I try to do better, my application's rejected What a nigga gotta do to be respected What a nigga gotta do to be respected I been tryna teach y'all niggas different lessons But y'all service must be bad, cause y'all ain't getting any messages Like do I have to spell this out, what this is about Man can't you hear me scream and shout, look I don't do this for clout My lil bro was shot in DC, Alex please rest in peace I wish that we could trade places, cause man it should've been me, I'm sorry I'm sorry to world for all of my lies I'm sorry to the girls who thought I was such a bad guy I'm sorry to all of them niggas I could once call a friend It's a shame to think that I may never see them again People come and they go, but i mean I'm not surprised They only like you when you up, never during demise But what if I, could finally acsend to the sky Would niggas fall down to their knees, praying to god asking why Look here's the truth, no body realizes how much they love you till your gone Remorse will put you in mood, just like your favorite sad song And if you look me in my bloodshot eyes You'll realize, I've never felt more alive, by being ready to die Cause life's what you make it, and look mines been a dream I mean the things that I've seen, I never thought could happen to me And I'm still a nobody, im just another no name But how could I expect you to ever understand my pain Man I'm so tired of being sick Oh I'm so tired of being Nick And Im not sure if anything can save me at this point I'm only breathing properly by taking drugs and smoking joints My spirit wants to feel alive and be free But until then I'll be stuck in this purgatory I know I'll fly like shooting stars when I die But Don't cry, cause baby I ain't ever been afraid to say goodbye Man I'm so tired of being sick Oh I'm so tired of being Nick My spirit wants to feel alive and be free But until then I'll be stuck in this purgatory I'll be stuck in this purgatory