I'm not me

Oh it kills me to say You're not coming today I needed someone to get me out of here I'm tired of living in grey The doctor says it's okay One of these days I will finally disappear Oh I see them I see them waiting All in a row And I can't believe it Feels like I am dreaming I am finally home Intoxicated fool Hallucinating you It is the closest we'll get to be again Selfish of you not to stay When I was fading away You might've gone from my life but not my head Oh I see them I see them waiting All in a row And I can't believe it Feels like I am dreaming I am finally home I wonder who this could be It sure as hell is not me I need to find out what's in my fucking head Banging it against the wall Blood dripping on the floor Banging and banging until I'm fucking dead Ohh I'm not me I'm not me Oh I see them I see them waiting All in a row And I can't believe it Feels like I am dreaming I am finally home And now it's time to pretend I'm not dying for death Oh how amusing not to be me again