In My Thoughts

I am here I am alive I don't know why I just want to die Please take me out of this world My head is so fucking swirled I nearly hurled all over the place Yea I really am so shitfaced okay I'm up in my head I feel so mother fucking dead Yea My pillow is drenched from the tears that I fucking shed Half a botttle down yea I feel so numb Another big mistake yea I feel so dumb I'm out here dressing like a rugged bum Yea Can't they tell I'm so fucking done Yuh I'm just out her looking for a loaded gun Yea my brain it's on the mother fucking run Here we go why can't we have some fucking fun Living in my head is nothing new God these thoughts got me so damn blue Yea living my life without you Yea you got me doing things I never thought I'd do Hitting the ground and making moves Yea I got something to fucking prove My life is worth it nothing to lose Yea I'm out here yea looking for some clues Looking for some clues yea Looking for some clues yea Looking for some clues yea Looking for some clues yea I just need some fucking answers For the questions that my brain is asking Is life worth it Is God lacking All I can see is the big man slacking All around me, all I see is sadness and madness and hatred three Yea happiness seems to have died a long time ago Our mental state keeps on falling like some dominoes All we gotta do is improve and grow And make our washed out colors just shine and glow Take some pride and make it right Fake yourself right through another night Smoke all you have till you can't feel your feelings Drink yourself till you can't see the ceiling Ask yourself yea what am I dreaming Everything around me feels like it's freezing Not like its cold More like in time I feel like im old but I guess it's fucking fine Deep in my soul I knew I was right I followed my dreams yea I followed my pride Now look at me I'm looking fine Everythings looking up in my life I'm gettin that bag I'm gettin that ride I'm about to make myself fucking shine