What if WebMD Was a Death Metal Song?

My stomach kinda hurts Let's see what WebMD thinks about this Oh, it's probably just Cancer Stage 4 and inoperable Or an aortic aneurysm Or an ectopic pregnancy Or space COVID One thing is for sure It's the first sign of something sinister and deadly You're digesting your own stomach And no matter what you do You're fucked You're already dead It's probably a new kind of Ebola Or you're full of garden gnomes with gout and chlamydia Having a Satanic orgy in your guts Get right with God right now, you chump You'll be dead within the hour Or I dunno, maybe you just ate something weird