Buy My Friggin Album Bitch

[Verse 1]Buy my CD or I'll break your fuckin' headI got 15 hundred copies in boxes under my bedHeard what I said, buy it, shit at least try itThis shit is dope as fuck don't make me pull your ears with pliersAin't no one buyin' my album it should've been platinumAt least gold, the kids don't buy my shit I'm gonna crack'emMy idea street promotion is drivin' through placesAnd peggin' promo tapes at peoples faces sayin' "buy it you homo"A promo, what? you want free shitYou better pay up, I'll even take food stamps kidIf you ain't got a job, man it's cool you can robStill from your old man, cuz he's a fat drunken slobAnd ya mom, she's blown in lonely Ville for 20So just tell that smelly hoe you need some money buddyI go to the stores that are selling LP'sTell'em move some fuckin' units or I'll break your friggin kneesEmcees don't even wanna battle me nowMy put my lyrics up because I started knockin' bitches outInterrupt rock sets from alternative bandsI snatch the mic and start beatin' till it's hurtin' my handsThen I kick my wicked flows until the cops are calledI'll throw a bar stool and start a bar room brawlAs I run out the door, just before I jetDon't forget to buy my album on CD or cassette[Chorus]I'm a dope emcee but a shitty self promoterI'll sign a contract for a hoagie and sodaI'ma use force like as if my name was YodaBuy my shit quick man just do what I told yaCan't work for a living gotta eat off thisPlus I gotta crib, and a wife, and a kidI'ma shove in your face till you purchase itJust buy my friggin album bitch![Verse 2]Don't be a cheap fuck it's just 11.99And it's worth it, I ain't sayin' that because it's mineIf it's whack, don't even think you'll get your money backYou and your boys can make fun of it, yo I like it when you crackTake a bat, and use the thing for batting practice man smash itI don't give a fuck man fuckin' bash it you can have itI really don't care man just purchase the shitI really don't feel like havin' to hurt you bitchBut I will, so find a way to cop my shit quickBefore I find you first, and beat 'cha fat ass wit a stickGo on Carson Daily's show and request my video"You ain't got one" I know, just fuckin' do it yoThe radio don't play me and I got no distributionIma walk into Land Speed and just start shootinI can't sell cds even in my own cityIma change my name to Q stiggy and start actin' jiggyI got promo posters as wall paper in my cribAnd I wonder why no one's ever heard of my shitIf I went out and promoted I could probably sell a recordBut instead I'll just sit and scratch myself, hey yo check it[Chorus]If you don't go out and buy my cdI'm gonna fuckin' kick your assI ain't even playin' wit 'chuI am literally gonna knock you the fuck outIf you don't go out and buy the shitJust fuckin' buy it manYou can afford itWhat the fuck is wrong wit 'chu?It's a fuckin' dope album man just pick it upWhat 'chu mean you never heard of me?It doesn't matter if you never heard of meI'm fuckin' tellin' you now just buy the shit, what?