Why I'm F'd Up

[Chorus]People wanna know why I'm so fucked upCould it be because of the way I grew upI didn't have much and times were toughAnd I deal with this pain as a grown adult[Verse 1]Grownin' up was rough even though I had loveI came up in an environment with violence and drugsMy mom was an addict I was too young to see thisI be playin' doctor with the hypodermic needlesShe told me not to touch'em they were for her boyfriend's medicineI guess his sickness was addiction like hers it was heroinI'd see the bruises on her face she'd tell me that she fellInnocence prevailed and I believed her fairy talesSometimes I hear him hit her and I'd hide under the coversListen to the terrifying screams from my mothaVowing that one day I'd be big enough to beat himAnd now I am I hope to god that I don't ever meet'emMy father bailed out when I still a little infantI see'em now and then but didn't know him what's the differenceHe was an alcoholic anyway or so they saySo I guess I didn't need him in my life anywayMy mom got clean and sober when that boyfriend shit was overJust a matter of time before it came back and took overGrowin' up in the projects on food stamps and welfareKids crackin' on my sneakers never had a new pairMom did remarry though when I was thirteenBut it seems that her dream man turned out to be a dope fiendAnother one, shootin' up and gettin' fucked upAnd then yall wonder why I never been drunk or do drugsAnd then in High school I fucked up I didn't pay attentionFuck detention and suspension, I ain't doin' this I'm jettinAt 16 my whole world came to a haltI lost my mother to the devil and I felt it was my faultShe was all that I had, now I'm sittin' all alone16 years old trying to make it on my ownAin't never graduated cuz I didn't even botherMan I coulda been somebody if I tried a little harderWorkin' full time for a minimum wageWishin' I was on stage it wasn't just a fazeDreaming of being the next rap star sensationI broke the hell out and took a permanent vacationDepression hittin' harder yeah I even thought of suicideIts do or die, and I ain't doin' shit so I don't even try andGettin' high is all the peeps around me seem to doAnd I ain't goin' that route, so I always stay trueBut now life is good I gotta wife that I loveAnd a son in my world and I ain't fuckin' this upSo there you have it now ya know why I'm so fucked upAnd how a troubled child grows up a troubled adultBut now I gotta chance to do things right for my sonKeep him safe from these drugs and these thugs packin' gunsI'll make it in this world and I ain't going to go and quitChannel all this negative into positive shit[Chorus] - 5X