Self-Mutilation

I'm a loser, composer of some confusion Shed my body tissue, I need a blood infusion Using over the counters I guess I don't amount to the racehorse of resilience I'm too afraid to mount her I'm proud of What I did, double check, it's not a fib Take a knife out the kitchen draw, slice my carotid People talk about this life but it's not as good as it gets When the going gets tough, for the exit, make a blitz Setting the bar in hopes to touch stars Black does crack cause I got all these scars, in awe If there's really a god, please send me a sign Show me your face, let me see who you are Where you at while I'm peeling my flesh? Edges to melanin Blood splattered on desks Corrupted, incendiary, I'm downing the Bloody Mary I'm very discouraged, man I'm under duress Oximetry tachycardic Self-harm, it's been applauded Bandaids and brace in the wooden cabinet because I bought it Grab the reigns to grip and grapple this bloody scalpel I need to have confessions, direct me to the nearest chapel I'm basically joking the chapel's better off having raffles Wheel of fortune, praying to God that I'm not a bastard Drop to my knees, pour out my heart that's been unraveled Judging me with the gavel I'm touching on grit and gravel Pittering-pattering breaking tackles like I'm the Packers Stop my pain so put my arms inside the shackles I find comfort in blood flow It becomes my rap flow I'm sick of the expression "only God knows" But does he? On the ground like rugby On the bench out the game, the world saw fit to sub me Abruptly Keeping some money but refusing the company I worry about more than if she loves me Bam, defender Y'all some pretenders Love mama forever, so they call me black panther Chivalry is dead, they have hidden agendas What's the point of a bank that doesn't approve any lenders? Surrender Submit to my tears and fears, it's painfully clear that my suicide is drawing near Raise a glass for death Everyone say "cheers" Ironic I'm not alcoholic, so no beer It'll be soon I'll be lost I'm a loser, let's dead all this confusion Several infractions, I have several contusions I'm using the excuses apologizing profusely in advance for the effort I put towards abusing Drugs and mean mugs, stare upon my ugly mug I sweep my emotions underneath the rug Enough of this meaningless existence I've seen so many stars in the sky for my wishes They weren't granted, disbanded, my feet were planted but couldn't stand it I landed in misery cause I was pitching it underhanded It'll be soon I'll be lost I lose, I'm a loser, retire like Carlos Boozer One or the other Picker and chooser I choose happiness See you at the funeral You ever seen something traumatizing but instead of the trauma you took an interest in Pain so you deciphered your karma? Once upon a time, some would say that I'm a charmer Repel all females, some would say that I'm an alarm-er Disarmer Took a page out of the book called "father" Misusing the substance, I know I'm a bother Tomato-tomato, I don't care, pish-posher One day I'll cut to deep and I'll become a martyr